Tears with Harold

I was a junior at BYU, and was behind in a reading assignment for one of my humanities classes. I had put it off for a few days, and in the next hour, I was to have an extensive quiz on it's contents. I wasn't too worried, in that I had read bits and pieces before, and I new of it's noted place it had in the world of modern orations. What I had no idea of, was the emotional connection I would feel as I sat, in the Harold B. Lee library, holding an old and used copy of the speech, with tears streaming down my face, my heart pounding, and my soul illuminated...

Martin Luther King, Jr.: "I Have a Dream"

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹

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I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of
Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

This is a declaration for all backgrounds who have felt the tyranny of racism...Mormon, Jewish, African, Irish, Iranian, and all that cannot be contained in a list on this page...For our religious freedoms that allow us to worship as we choose. To be able to raise my children with compassion and integrity, and to not be bound by the gags of race and hate.

I am grateful for this day of tribute, and reflection...For the tears that splattered on that worn copy of manuscript...Because it is truly a celebration of ALL.

Beginnings of the New Year thru Webster

Welcome to my world!!

Here are some of the highlights of the past week...

uterine: u·ter·ine -adj.

1. Of, relating to, or in the region of the uterus: the uterine canal; uterine contractions.
2. Having the same mother but different fathers.
3. Being enclosed and dark; womblike.

ablation: ab·la·tion –noun
1. the removal, esp. of organs, abnormal growths, or harmful substances, from the body by
mechanical means, as by surgery.
2. the reduction in volume of glacial ice, snow, or névé by the combined processes of melting,
evaporation, and calving. Compare alimentation (def. 3).
3. Aerospace. erosion of the protective outer surface (ablator) of a spacecraft or missile due
to the aerodynamic heating caused by travel at hypersonic speed during reentry through the
atmosphere.

Per·co·cet: trademark
Function: used for a preparation of acetaminophen and the hydrochloride of oxycodone

depression: de·pres·sion –noun
1. the act of depressing.
2. the state of being depressed.
3. a depressed or sunken place or part; an area lower than the surrounding surface.
4. sadness; gloom; dejection.
5. Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater
and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Compare clinical depression.
6. dullness or inactivity, as of trade.
7. Economics. a period during which business, employment, and stock-market values decline
severely or remain at a very low level of activity.
8. the Depression. Great Depression.
9. Pathology. a low state of vital powers or functional activity.
10. Astronomy. the angular distance of a celestial body below the horizon; negative altitude.
11. Surveying. the angle between the line from an observer or instrument to an object below
either of them and a horizontal line.
12. Physical Geography. an area completely or mostly surrounded by higher land, ordinarily
having interior drainage and not conforming to the valley of a single stream.
13. Meteorology. an area of low atmospheric pressure.

goal: (—Synonyms) 1. target; purpose, object, objective, intent, intention. 2. finish.


My New Year’s goal is not to have my body defeat me!! I will run, laugh, and be joyous again, and flip-off all that try to stop me!! (I wish I could say that last part was the percocet talking...but language is NOT on the list this year...)

To all of you who feel life can get insurmountable, and that things will never change, this goal is dedicated to you, to me, and to anyone who struggles! I pray we all grow from our trials, and that through them, grow into the people we cannot even begin to think we are!

I am not a Dixie plate

Do you remember the commercials about Dixie plates? How they are strong enough to hold ANY amount of food stacked or piled on them? Well, my friends, I have found that I am no longer a Dixie plate...

I am always the one who people turn to for help, advice, safety, confidence, confession, and digging people out of the ditches they find themselves in. I am the child who is never doted upon, because my parents know that I can take care of myself. I am the employee who gets all the crap departments, because my boss knows that I will fix them. I am the daughter who is called to "fix" her sibling, who has fallen away. I am the typcial mother, who is never suppose to get sick, show weakness, fatigue, or lose their temper, all amid never faltering at having a smile upon her face, while keeping home and hearth functioning.

Lately I feel like I am not the Dixie plate I use to be...but merely the generic, white, paper plate, where no matter how many you layer together, you will still manage to lose half your food, and have things seep into the layers of paper, leaving BBQ sause stains on your clean white t-shirt. I use to LOVE being "the one who could fix it,"and gladly took on helping after helping of issues. But, it seems as if I might need to be humbled into realizing that in reality, NO ONE is a Dixie plate, and that it is truly this juggling act that helps us to realize what we are amazingly capable of.

So here I am...With my soaked layers of paper plate, trying to hold together family, husband, children, friends, callings, a body that once was so fit and healthy that is slowly leading me down paths I never thought I would have to entertain at 36 (happy birthday to me! december 31st) hysterectomy? kidney and thryroid function? yucky meds? FATIGUE that keeps me literally thinking of bed ALL DAY?!

But at the same time that I write this, I am wonderfully aware of all my blessings...My cute kids who amaze me each day with their spirits and light that fills me up...My husband who lets me sleep in when the meds and stress kick in, and I am absolutely no good, and he knows it!...My best friend, who I can tell anything to, and who is so much a balancing "ying" to my "yang" that we are perfectly matched (and she STILL loves me after all is said, and done)...but most of all, to my Father in Heaven, who listens to me yell, scream, grieve, struggle, cry, complain, and wonder, and still gave me His Son, who has gone through ALL things for ME.

I LOVED Melissa's resolution to just take things one day at a time...Because when your plate is not a Dixie, life can get a little overwhelming!

I Believe

I was watching TV this morning, and was alarmed when a guest on a show was telling all the reasons why she was an atheist (yes,
everyone can believe as they choose...and I choose to express how I feel) She said that "Why would a God give someone cancer?" and "People choose to believe in God to give them a sense of comfort, but outside of that, it is just a coping mechanism."

As her list went on, and on, I thought to myself, "how sad." She is missing the beauty that comes from trials, from falling, from living, from giving back to Our Father who gave us EVERYTHING from this earth, from our talents, from our abilities, and from the greatest gift of all...the gift of His Son...which allowed for the Atonement, that our brother, Christ, gave us.

This holiday I wish to exclaim, "I Believe!! I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves us...who gives us trials for our growth and experience...I believe in my Savior...who will allow me to stand before my Father, and return to Him, because of the atonement He offered for me."

"I Believe in Christ, He is my King! With all my heart to Him I'll sing; I'll raise my voice in praise and joy, In grand amens my tongue employ. I Believe in Christ; He is God's Son. On earth to dwell His soul did come. He healed the sick; the dead He raised. Good works were His; His name be praised."

Pornographic Poultry

We had a great Thanksgiving...My Uncle, who I never see regularly, was able to come this year to the festivities. He's an interesting guy...a daredevil, Harley-driving, rock 'n roll spirit who lives a very colorful life!

He shared this little "story" with me and my sister...

His girlfriend had planned on cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for the first time with her family (she is younger than my youngest sister...ya....my Uncle is a "play-ah") Knowing that he was not going to be there for the actual event, he supplied her family with the turkey.

Imagine his surprise when he got this photo/text message on his phone during Thanksgiving break...(Imagine a picture of a uncooked turkey, with someone holding the neck...like the photo above...)

Her text: "Why is there a d*ck in my turkey?!"

You can imagine how we reacted when my dear grandfather later asked "where is the neck?"

Here's to the holidays!! (And I hope you all practiced "safe turkey!")

I'm going to SMACK you!

Yes folks...It is time...It is time to go rock and RAGE at the E Center tomorrow evening...I can feel my hostile and recently overwhelming existence being eluded for 2 good hours of screaming, pulsing, acting like a teenager again, moshing, fist pumping, singing along until your voice is gone and all that is left are strained vocal chords and a sore throat...

I refer to "this" type of music as my angry, muse to my running work-out, invigorating, soul-searching, sometimes (swearing!), letting go of anxiety, Hades bound, beats that get my blood pumping and warm fuzzies flowing!

Just another side of Yolanda : )

(Hey...the lead guy's name is Sully...like in Monster's Inc...It's all good!!)

Monday's Prayer...

I saw this poem, and had to share it!! It is going to be my new "morning mantra..."

DEAR GOD
Author Unknown

Dear God,

So far today,
I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped.
I haven't lost my temper.
I haven't lied or cheated.
I haven't been greedy, grumpy,
nasty, selfish or overindulgent.

I'm very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord,
I'm going to get out of bed;
and from then on, I'm probably
going to need a lot more help.

Amen

Nirvana...

Mecca...Utopia...Ecstacy...Rapture...Paradise...all served with a lime!

Click...and enjoy a BEAUTIFUL site! Shoes of Yolanda : )

A Change of Luck

It has been a CRAZY few weeks! My husband has been gone on business for most of them...(He's in HAWAII this week...yes...VERY small violin playing...) I don't like the "single mom" thing!! This past Saturday, my kids had a test to move up another belt in Karate. It was a hectic and chaotic morning as I handed my youngest to my husband, (who I hadn't seen for a week) and headed out the door to take the kids to this event. When I climbed in the car, they started shouting (it was actually the GOOD kind of yelling, as in "glee!"), clapping their hands, and giving me high-fives...

I settled myself in, wondering what kind of sugar they must have consumed to be this energetic, my oldest proclaimed, "Our good-luck-charm!! She's here!! Mom...you are our 'good-luck-charm' for our tests!! We can't do it without you!!"

Wow.

(Tearing of the eyes.)

I have some wonderful children.

I am so lucky.

My Monument of Worms

I have been in a "mood" lately...I cannot properly put into words the frustration, irritation, anger, and destitude I have felt the past few weeks.

After some testing, my Endriconologist found that my thyroid is under-active...which most women DREAM of happening, because it can make you hold onto or gain a lot of weight, even if you ate nothing at all...Well, I was happy at first, because I had gained about 15 pounds during the past three months, and could not figure out why (not my eating habits, I was running/exercising regularly), as well as not sleeping well at night, which made me fatigued during the day, which was not helping my overall "happiness" equation!

I started taking the new medication, only to have my hair trauma (see "Bad hair day" post), acne worse than any High School experience, carpel tunnel at night, my blood sugar to raise (have I mentioned I'm diabetic?), and I GAINED 4 MORE POUNDS the first two weeks on I was on it!! After waiting 5 weeks, to see the "full" effects of the new medication, I weighed myself to find out that I had gained ANOTHER 4 pounds...That is 15+4+4 (you do the math!) I called my endriconologist and made an appointment.

After more tests, a change in medication (did you know that some generic replacements in prescriptions can have a -50% to a +115% range of effectiveness compared to the name brand? I found this out the hard way!) and going over all my new symptoms, the tests came back with the following news...My kidneys are not working fully!

Now...this might not be an immediate, life-altering predicament right now, but it hit me very hard...I have ALWAYS taken VERY good control of my diabetes, so it would never rule my life. I have been able to have three beautiful children, run and be active and involved in every aspect of life, and always had people be VERY surprised to find out I'm a diabetic. Along with this, my brother, who is not a diabetic, had his kidneys fail when he was 17, and was on dialysis until he was 20. So, when I took in all of this, I was very angry that I was not in control of my body...That all the hard work of monitoring and regulating my diabetes, eating right, and exercising was for naught, because my kidneys are not cooperating anyways!!

Then came Conference, and the general feeling/message was TAILOR MADE for me!! Many times during the talks, I heard "everyone has trials, hardships, issues, etc." which they need to "master and endure in this lifetime"...and we each need to bascially, "endure it well."

"Endure it well..." Hit me like a slap in the face...Christ suffered through everything...EVERYTHING...and I'm sitting here denying the suffering He did on MY behalf.

This is one of my favorite poems. You can find it in the front of the book, "Charlie's Monument" by Blaine M. Yorgason.

God, before he sent his children into the world,

gave each of them a carefully selected package of problems.

"These, "He promised smiling, "are yours alone.

Only you have the special talents and abilities

that will make these problems your servants,

and no one else may have the blessing these problems will bring you."

"So, go down to your birth, and to your forgetting.

Know that I love you beyond measure.

The problems I give you are a token of my love."

"The monument you make of your life,

with the help of your problems,

will be a token of your love for me."

Your Father

So many times we get caught up "eating worms..." Yes...I have some scary health issues...Yes...I am now taking EIGHT (did I studder?) medications...but I must be experiencing this for a reason...I am not perfect...and I KNOW I will complain again...but...I need to have the faith, and humility, to make the "package" my Father gave me, into my strengths.

You know she's from Utah when...

While running errands this past week, my daughter had a major meltdown...We went up to the mall, and to her surprise and horror, she saw the new "Macy's" sign on the side of the building...She screamed, "WHY did they get rid of the other store? It was a GOOD store!! WHY??!!" After a few moments of thinking, I realized why all the "agnst"...She thought that the "mall" had replace her Meier and Frank with a M-a-c-E-y-s...She could not understand why they would put a run down, thrifty grocery-store, in place of the glitz and glamour of good ol' MAF...

You KNOW you've lived in Utah far too long when your daughter's first reaction to a Macy's department store is panic, and visions of produce, instead of "do you have any money?"

That Warm Feeling

Each morning, my youngest comes into my bedroom, staggering, sleep-filled eyes still trying to adjust to the light, and climbs into bed and nestles up against me...It is like a little furnace that molds to your body...

This morning I awoke to my little "furnace," along with a warm...WET...STINKY... feeling...My son simply replied, "I went potty..."

No kidding...

Warm fuzzies? No...in our house it's more like "warm tinkles..."

September 11th 2001 - September 11th 2006

For those whose places we miss being filled...

"Bad Hair Day" just doesn't describe it...

So...I go in for my USUAL hair appointment...My stylist does my USUAL coloring...My hair turns it's USUAL blonde...except the lovely bright, brassy, UN-usually PEACHY weave in it!! She adds more blonde, which just emphasizes the peach even more...All this time, I am thinking,"What the crap is going on?" After she does it a second time, it does seems more blonde, but something still remains "off."

So...I go home...thinking it can't possibly be as bad as I think it is, and the lighting must of been "off" at her salon...I go to my bathroom...nope...it IS as bad as I thought it is. The blonde is great, but the low-light remains this brassy, peachy, "orange-cream-cicle" color. I panic...I obssess...I drive immediately to my friend's home, who happens to work in another salon.

T. is a SAINT!! She takes me to the salon, opens it up, and gets to work on my "problem." We decide to put some darker, low-lights into it, to balance out and hopefully compensate for the brassy color. She meticulously foils my hair, we sit and talk while it processes, and then we wash it out...

The blonde in my hair now looks PLATINUM, and the horrible, brassy, peach color is STILL SHOWING along the crown of my head. T is astounded as to what happened...Perhaps we need to try a more neutral, darker tone? She AGAIN applies a color-concoction that should balance out my hair to a smoother, darker, blonde...

Gray? Is it possible to go from platinum blonde, to GRAY? Apparently so...

At this point, I am feeling sick to my stomach...not emotionally...but physically sick to my stomach, as I run to the bathroom to puke-up some grape juice I had earlier....Not only do I have platinum blonde, brassy peach, and grey running through my strands, but apparently, I have the flu now as well. T then asks my an interesting question..."Are you taking any new medications?"

About six weeks ago, I started taking a medication for my thyroid...WELL...guess what? APPARENTLY it had affected my hair!! T said that she had started a new medication once, and then went to straighten her hair, and instead of smoothness, her hair came out VERY coarse, very dry, and very damaged...She then told me that medications can be expressed or found more readily in your hair, pores, and fingernails...

Suddenly a light came on...I had been experiencing REALLY BAD break-outs, and now my hair was not taking hair treatment that normally would have gone off without a hitch...I was amazed!

My dear friend came to my house the next day, and put a special clarifier on my head, which helped clear out any toxins or medications found in my hair. We then selected a new "color" (beige-medium-blonde or "10B" in salon terms!) and literally PRAYED for mercy, a miracle, a blessing and a dream of having my hair take the color correctly...

As T washed out my hair...She was silent (which is not a good sign, since this girl can TALK!!). I asked her what she was seeing, to which she silently said, "I think I still see peach..." I grabbed the mirror, went by the window, and took a look to find...

A BEAUTIFUL shade of 10B!! After we dried it, it solidified the moment when we could both take a huge SIGH OF RELIEF!! T was my saving grace!! She took time (three hours the first night, and 3 hours the next day) without hesitation, to help me out. THAT is true charity, and friendship!!

I'm getting use to my new "look"...Since I'm use to a VERY bright and blonde set of locks, I am constantly checking to see if it looks okay...It's a really pretty, subtle, and soft looking color, and matches my eyebrows...and in a few weeks, there WILL BE BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS!! I just have to get to the point where I can actually sit in a salon chair, with the smell of the chemicals, etc. without being nervous!!

So if you ever have a bad hair day...just remember...it could be A LOT worse!!

My Name is Yolanda...and I Don't Blog Enough...

It's funny how life is going along, and you are busy, even frantic at times,.. and as I think about all that is happening in my life, and the world around me, when I want to write a new post....BLANK!! For those of you who know me in person, I NEVER run out of things to talk about, and I have opinions on EVERYTHING...So why is it I get "writer's block" nearly every time I sit down to write?

So...My thanks to Melissa for the tag!! Now I have something to blog about!

1) How often do you blog? I usually check my blog everyday, and shed a tear when I cannot break past the number 5 on my comments...LOL. Then I check my "favs"....in no particular order...Melissa-Lisa-Amy-Suzie-Kacy-Sarah...along with many others I find along the way.

2) Alias: Yolanda

3) Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Isn't that what we do when we blog?

4) What do you do when you are bored? "Window Shop" online and see how much the total would be if I had unlimited funds...sigh...then empty basket.

5) What bathing, what do you wash first? My face. I have this OCD thing where I want the "freshest" water to clean my face...odd?

6) Have you ever been up for 48 hours straight? Prom night...College finals....Girls Camp....Labor....Anxiety....Just a few!

7) What color looks best on you? Black...turquiose...pink...dark brown...

8) Favorite drink? "Matcha Green Tea Blast" at Jamba Juice...with protein and an energy boost!

9) Do you believe in a Heaven and Hell as a real place that each of us will go to after death? Whatever we have created here, is where we will end up in eternity...

10) Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends? Offline, actually.

11) What was your favorite subject in school? Elementary school: Art Junior High: Art High School: Humanities, Art College: All of my Major-related courses (French poetry, Specified Art History, Greek Art History, Mesopotamian Art History, Italian Renaissance Art History, Modern Art, ANYTHING Aurthur Bassett taught at BYU...)

12) Are you a perfectionist? Yes--I'm very demanding of MYSELF... I have been known to go a "little" over-board in callings, projects, baby-showers, birthdays...But I really enjoy myself in the process!

13) Do you spend more than you can afford? In the past...YES...Right now?...Working on getting into a new house...Budget, Budget, Budget...most of the time...

14) Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? How can you know how much you have loved, if you do not know the pain of losing it?

15) Do you consider yourself creative? YES! It stems from a childhood of having very little, so you learned to be VERY creative!

16) Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? Never...I also get very uncomfortable receiving compliments...(shudder)

17) Do you donate time or money to charities? Juvenille Diabetes, Kidney association, MS association, Primary Childrens, Breast Cancer. are my favorites...

18) Have you recently done something that you’ve criticized others for doing? Not usually (I'm pretty stubborn)...But when I do...I fess-up!!

19) What's on your mind? Waiting to hear if my friend has to continue chemotherapy...

I tag: SUZIE PETUNIA, and AMY LYNN...(I would also tag Carrie Ann...but we all know that would be futile...sigh....)

August 20th 1991-August 20th 2006

Yesterday marked 15 years of marriage...We went and did sealings at the temple on Thursday, followed by a fun trip to Park City on Friday, which included a facial that my husband surprised me with, followed by a lunch of some of the best sushi I have ever tasted!! It was MARVELOUS!!

Now...you might think that this sounds like we don't have a care in the world...that each year we do something similar, and that life continues on as each year adds to another...

NOT!!

One thing I HAVE learned from my 15 years is that marriage is HARD WORK...but all the sweat, tears, trials, struggles, disagreements, compromises, and tribulations that make you wonder what more you could possibly go through?...It is in that "refiner's fire" that creates a more beautiful, more endearing, more loving, more committed, more gratifying, and more UNITED bond than you could ever imagine.

One of my favorite stories is this: "The Story of Weibertreu Castle"

The city of Weinsberg, Germany, a free imperial/feudal city found itself caught in a battle between Wolf, Count of Bavaria (of whom they were loyal supporters) and the combined forces of Frederick, Duke of Swabia and his brother, the Emporer Konrad III.

The Weinsberg Castle was under siege. Those inside the castle were very strong, and able to resist the advances of the Emporer's forces. (At this time in German history, entire communities would live within the walls of the various castles). When the attackers realized they could not overpower the Weinsbergers, the soilders decided to wait until the city had used up all their supplies, as much of the city's cattle, other animals and farm land would be kept in areas outside the castle wall. Eventually, everything within the city walls was gone, and the inhabitants had no choice but to surrender.

When they surrendered, the women sent a message to the Emperor Konrad, asking him to arrange for safe conduct for all the women and children of the castle. (This would not have been unusual knight protocol--women and children were generally treated with mercy. The men, however, would be put to death). In addition, the women requested he promise they could keep for their families as many of their valuables as they could carry with them.

At the hour appointed when all the women and children could leave, the gates opened, and the women staggered out with their men on their backs. This meant they could not carry anything else, and so had made the choice to leave everything else behind. When the Emporer witnessed the women, their backs bent under the burden they bore, he began to weep. He was so touched by this display of love and loyalty that he promised the women that their men could go free. Not one man lost his life that day.

(Since that day, people have called that place "Weibertreue" Castle, or the castle of "women's fidelity.")

In a marriage, there are times when we, indeed, carry our husbands/wives on our backs as struggles and issues arise...It is in those moments of sacrifice, that we create a stronger bond of love for those whom we carry...For isn't your spouse your most valuable treasure?


August 20th 1991-August 20th 2006...and to all the years to come!

Making me Smile!

Hee hee...Gotta love it!

Are you talking to me?!

I'm not THAT old (people guess my age as 5-10 years younger than I actually am)...I'm fairly nice-looking...I'm stylish...I can hold my own against the "younger generation"...So why do I CRINGE each and every time the following phrases are being addressed, to ME!?
"Can I help you Ma'am?"

"Have a nice day, Ma'am."

"Thanks, Ma'am."

I do not want to be (as the dictionary defines)
"n : a woman of refinement..."

I never thought I'd be out of the "Miss-es" and becoming a "Ma'am..."

Crap!

My new favorite quote...

"I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings.
My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and love."
- Mahatma Gandhi 

Sizzle...

Too hot to be in the house...Too hot to write...I'm just too, HOT!

Proposals...

Today I must of looked GOOD...Because a guy asked me to marry him...Right there...Standing in line at Alberstons...His exact words were along the lines of, "When you have someone wit' a package like that, who can work it, then you have to make a line for it!" This was followed by, "Don't tell your husband...I don't want him to bust-up on me!" followed by, "But hey, will you marry me anyways?"

My "suitor" was a a "traveling man" of sorts...With a big cold 44 to share...and the sweet smell of some old 44 on his breath...Yup...I'm kicking myself!!

I Am Slinky...

You are Slinky Heels!

You're an uptown, well put together woman But you're not too uptight to enjoy a hot club You're always the best dressed chick in the room And you'll only settle for the best in men

What Kind of Shoe Are You?



Well...that about says it! (LOL)
(Thanks to Smee for the link)

I LOVE "the Talk"

We have a tradition in our family. My husband and I decided that when our kids turn eight, that since it is the "age of accountablility," and that there is so much influence going on in the lives of our children, that we would have "THE TALK" sometime during the 8-9 year mark (depending on the nature and maturity of the child!), with the hope that we would be able to introduce them, in OUR way, to the topic.

I LOVE this talk, and look forward to it!! I don't know why people get all flustered when they gear up to talk to their children about good ol' procreation?! These are the reasons why I love it:

1) WE get to do the introduction, direction, and teaching of our children, so hopefully their first interaction with the subject is from US...so far, this has been the case!

2) We get to "build up" the excitement of the experience of their "special date." We tell them before-hand that they are going to get to go on a special date with mom and dad, ALONE, and get to hear about something AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, and SPECIAL! This gets them really excited, and more importantly, it creates a POSITIVE environment from the get-go. I think so many kids get into trouble because their parents either a) don't do anything or b) present sex and something that is "bad" or something that is "hush-hush." I WANT my kids to be able to talk to me about anything...even sex! I want them to know that when respected, sex is the most beautiful gift that our father in heaven has given us...the ability to create a life!

3) We get to teach them the concept of "love." They may "love" many people in their lives, but the type of love you must have to express it through sex is this: When that special someone says, "I love you so much that I want to take you to the temple, and be sealed to you forever and all eternity..." or (boys) "I love you so much that I want to take you to the temple, and be sealed to you forever and all eternity..." THIS is the type of loving gesture that comes after you have committed to one another in the holy temple.

4) The book we use, "Where Did I Come From," by Peter Mayle, is the BEST!! It uses the greatest illustrations (simple for kids...comical for adults...but realistic), correct definitions, and basically takes you from head to toe, from what happens in sex to having babies, in a way that children can understand, and not feel overwhelmed by. We start by asking our kids what is the greatest thing on earth? (people) Wouldn't it then be amazing to learn how a person is created? What do you remember about the birth of (younger sibling, friend, cousin, etc.)? How do YOU think babies get into the mommy's tummy? Is it important that a mommy and a daddy love each other? How do you show someone you love them? (hugs, kisses,) How does mommy and daddy show each other? (hugs, kisses, more kisses!) Did you know that there is a an even bigger, better kind of action that a husband and wife can do? It makes them feel really good and loved AND--and this is the most exciting part--this special kind of action is what can get a baby started growing, inside of a mom!

5) The expression on my kids face when they hear what happens during sex...PRICELESS!

6) We get to express to them the joy they have brought to our lives--the joy that hopefully they will be able to experience with that special person, as they create their own "forever family."

What is there to be embarrassed about?

(Two down...one to go!!)

The Gentle Weapon

So...We again tried a night out to dinner as a family...My three year old just DOES NOT get it!! So, we are sitting in the restuarant, with my son going CRAZY, and I overhear the people at the next table talking:

Snotty lady with plug up bottom: "Dad...do you want to go to another room? Because we can move to another room..."
Father of Snotty lady with plug up bottom: Looks DIRECTLY at me as they pass.

I was talking to my husband in the car and told him how I should of gone up to them and said, "I'm sorry about my son...It's just with his TOURRETTES/AUTISM/BEING A THREE YR OLD! can be hard to manage...Sorry I wrecked your "perfect" world..." but I'm just a stay-at-home-mom, who had "a day," who wanted a nice dinner, with no dishes to do, and to sit at a table with the people who are most important to me..."

Then it got me thinking about how the world is so judgemental...how outside appearances are taken with NO grain of salt...What if my child DID have special needs? No one can know all that goes on behind the eyes of a person. I have a dear friend who is beyond beautiful...She models, seems to get skinnier with each child, has a beautiful home, and is so talented in so many ways that I cannot number them all. By a "glance," she looks like she has it all...and unfortunetaly, there have been many "sisters" in her ward who have resorted to their high-school mentalities, and have treated her VERY cruelly. She was recently put in as RS President (oh boy!), and besides this and the fifty million other things she does, she found out that she has to start chemotherapy (for the THIRD time) to help treat her lupus, which is affecting her heart...

Appearances can be many things...but if you live your life by them, judge by them, and condemn by them, no matter how wonderful your own appearance, the ugliness is still there.

So...Be nice to the mother with the screaming child...Be kind to the women in your ward who you think never has anything "bad" happen to her...Be the kind of person who doesn't judge based on appearances...Be that kind of person who truly tries to "see."

"Show me the goodness, the beauty, the kindness in everyone I meet. "
— Rebbe Nachman of Breslov in The Gentle Weapon

(I guess this means even "Snotty Lady with Plug up Bottom" might have "issues.." I guess I should call her "Snotty Lady wih Plug up Bottom Who Might be Pretty on the Inside.")

"Good Wood," Fingernails, Corneas, and Tetanus...An Evening with my Family

Well...Here goes!

Friday night, I decided that we would all have a family "splurge" and go to "Good Wood" restaurant for dinner. It seemed like a really good idea...at the time...but now...I'm not so sure...

I have a typical three year old who, like any other three year old, does not do "overtly" well in restuarant settings. (This should of done some foreshadowing for me!) We had just gotten our order (yummy, yummy steaks, garlic potatoes, salads....YUM!) and had begun eating, and smiling, and sharing tastes, and smiling, when my youngest said "I need to go potty!" So...being the good mom, I excused us and headed with who I refer to as my little "banshee", into the restroom. Things went well...It was a "direct hit" into the toilet, no "struggle," and we were in the process of getting shorts back on when suddenly...IT happened...

My "excitable" and totally unpredictable three year old suddenly threw up his arms, and with the knife-like skill of a ninja, his fingernail SLICED into the CORNEA of my EYE! Let's just say this...I have NEVER felt pain like this before in MY LIFE!! Labor, tattoos, broken bones, stitches...NOTHING comes close!!

After trying to compose myself, I went back to the family at the table and told them what had happened. It was either the fact that they a) Didn't care b) Were enjoying too much steak or c) Didn't hear me, but my hand cupped over my tearing/swollen eye as I was white-knuckling the edge of the table did not have quite the effect I had anticipated. (Did I MENTION the PAIN?!)

When we got home, I was in such agony that (after I AGAIN explained to my husband, who FINALLY realized that I had not been "hit" in the eye, but that my actual EYEBALL had been LACERATED!) I took 800 mg of ibuprofen, and a percocet that I had left from my last pregnancy...An hour later...STILL IN PAIN, tears flowing like a river...

I sent my husband to go and get me some saline drops to clean out my eye, where the DEAR pharmacist told him that he had better get me into a doctor, ASAP! So, at 10:45pm, we had a family outing to the ER.

After they numbed my eye (HEAVEN!!) they put special ink into it, and the doctor basically told me I had one of the largest lacerations he had seen...We weren't talking about a single, short line, but a whole, continuous circle shape that sliced my cornea over part of my pupil and iris areas!

Before I left, I got three prescriptions (1 antibiotic, 1 anti-inflamatory, and a bottle of percocet:) ) as well as a special "parting gift"...a nice, big TETANUS shot!!

My dear friend got sealed to her husband and family today...You know how you are not supposed to "upstage the bride?"...Well...I tried my best not to when I showed up heavily dosed on percocet and wearing my black EYE-PATCH!

Tomorrow I have to teach Gospel Doctrine...Maybe I should just bring "Pirates of the Caribbean" and blame it on the percocet?!

Dads are SUPER!!

Happy Father's Day, to all!!

A little message for all our guys...click on the above!

Why...Why do I care?!

Here's the latest on my little "obsession" with dear "brother" Nielsen...

Fired BYU instructor wasn't always so skeptical LDS challenge: Nielsen says philosophy opened him to a 'world of ideas'

OREM - Jeffrey Nielsen drives a red minivan, but most days he takes the bus. He goes to his LDS ward in Orem on Sundays. He likes to read and play catch with his two youngest daughters, ages 10 and 12. Lately, he has been hooked on dominoes. Most mornings, he and his 21-year-old son go jogging. "I'm a pretty boring person," Nielsen concedes. But that is Nielsen's private self-image. His emerging public persona is anything but boring. The part-time Brigham Young University philosophy instructor has become the subject of a steady stream of letters to the editor and who knows how many office water-cooler chats since he penned a guest column earlier this month questioning his church's support of a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. That attention ratcheted up this past week when BYU opted not to rehire Nielsen because his remarks in the June 4 edition of The Salt Lake Tribune publicly opposed leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on an issue they deem of supreme importance. Now the spotlight-shy Nielsen is being flooded with even more e-mails. His name is surfacing in even more letters to the editor. And his voice is popping up in radio interviews. But don't label Nielsen a rebel with a cause. "I'm not a revolutionary," he says. "I'm a very flawed human being. I'm not a spokesperson for any movement." Even so, he is speaking out - as a matter of conscience if not convenience. The 44-year-old father of four not only openly questions LDS leaders on their backing of the marriage amendment, he also criticizes church statements on wedlock. In addition, he wonders about his church's position on its past denial of priesthood to blacks, its polygamous history, its membership counts and more. Nielsen, who says he cherishes his church membership, hasn't always been the questioning type. "I was a very conformist . . . youth," he says. Reared like many Utah Mormons, Nielsen was born in Salt Lake City but did most of his growing up in Brigham City. Everyone in his immediate family was Mormon - mom, dad, three sisters and two brothers. He graduated as student-body president from Box Elder High, earned a scholarship to BYU and served an LDS mission to Zurich, Switzerland. There he labored in one of the highest missionary leadership posts: assistant to the president. His mind-set was much different then. "I just took the line that you don't question your priesthood leaders," Nielsen recalls. Twenty-five years later, Nielsen is doing just the opposite. He believes the foundation Jeffrey Nielsen Was fired from BYU (Rick Egan/The Salt Lake Tribune ) of his about-face was laid by an introductory philosophy class he took his last semester at Weber State University. Having returned home from his mission, Nielsen transferred from BYU to Ogden's Weber State to be closer to his high school sweetheart, Doreen. Within a year, the two married in an LDS temple. The philosophy class flicked on a switch in Nielsen's brain. "It opened me up to this idea of the 'world of ideas' that I hadn't ever experienced before," he says. With that light-bulb moment, poof went Nielsen's plans to attend law school. Instead, he earned a graduate degree in philosophy from Boston College, then returned to Utah and began teaching philosophy at BYU. He learned the difficulty of supporting a family on a part-time instructor's wages and, after two years, waded into training and leadership consulting. He spent several years in that field, at one point training Fortune 100 companies as a Franklin Covey consultant. "That's where I began to see that one of the problems with organizations was our concept, our practice of leadership," he says. A new thought process, a new philosophy, started forming in his head. His current thoughts are found in The Myth of Leadership, a 2004 book he wrote that advocates leaderless organizations and peer-based management. The book rests on two premises: Real communication can occur only between equals; and secrecy breeds corruption and abuses of power. And so it is that the LDS Church's unbending stand against same-sex marriage isn't the only issue that troubles Nielsen. He wants LDS leaders to be more open about the church's membership numbers, its finances and its history. He wants leaders to more clearly address the church's past - and future - teachings about polygamy. (The church abandoned the practice in 1890.) And he wants LDS temple weddings open to nonmember and non-tithe-paying parents. His reasons are both moral and personal. One of his sisters left the faith when, in her view, some church teachings didn't mesh with its history. In addition, a parent of his son-in-law wasn't able to attend the young man's temple wedding to Nielsen's daughter. "I really hope the membership has the privilege to raise these concerns and not be silenced," he says. "I don't want to attack the church. I'm not an enemy of the church. I don't want to hurt the church or destroy anyone's faith. I want to do things to strengthen the church." Many who have read Nielsen's remarks and replied in writing argue he is weakening the church. Certainly that is how his superiors at BYU saw it. "In accordance with the order of the church, we do not consider it our responsibility to correct, contradict or dismiss official pronouncements of the church," wrote department of philosophy Chairman Daniel Graham in a letter informing Nielsen he would not be welcomed back to teach at the school. E-mails and letters to the editor assert Nielsen knew he ran the risk of losing his teaching job at BYU after his column appeared - a point Nielsen acknowledges. His detractors also argue Nielsen could hardly expect BYU bosses to continue to employ and pay him after he openly criticized their superiors. But many more Utahns and others, at least of those who have responded, back the philosopher. David R. Keller, a philosophy professor at Utah Valley State College, can see Nielsen's reasoning. "He was motivated through ethical concerns, not to ruffle feathers or to create a situation of animosity," Keller says. "The tone of it was really concerned about the betterment of the human condition." Keller would like to see Nielsen teaching at UVSC one day. He already has tapped Nielsen as a speaker this fall for the Orem school's Center for the Study of Ethics, which Keller directs. Nielsen also has agreed to serve on the advisory board for a group of gay Mormons. Beyond that, Nielsen doesn't know what his future holds. He believes his life largely will go on as it did before he spoke up and was put down. He plans to keep attending his Orem LDS ward - no disciplinary action has been handed down - doing consulting work and cheering on his daughters at soccer games. Eventually, he hopes to find more teaching opportunities. He still will drive the family minivan from time to time, read and run with his son. But this much is sure: He won't be riding the bus to BYU.

What bothers me is not so much that he has the opinions that he does...but why is he a member of a church that he so blatantly disagrees with, on so many issues? I would think that the fence would be getting extremely uncomfortable...

"The Prophet has some words for you..."

So...when the Prophet gives us counsel...what do YOU do? I was intrigued, amazed, appauled, and inquisitive by the remarks made by a BYU Professor concerning recent counsel of the Prophet...this was further magnified by how he started his comments with, "The leaders of MY church..." I believe that everyone can have and express their own opinions (AOF #11)...I just found it so interesting that these comments came from an "active" member of the Church...How can you "sustain" one moment, and "reject" in another? Where does faith in our Prophet fall with free-agency and free-thought? Do you live your life by the Gospel, or try to tailor the Gospel to fit your life?

LDS authority and gay marriage Jeffrey Nielsen

The leaders of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, recently spoke out against gay marriage and asked members to encourage their U.S. senators to pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting homosexual marriage. As a member, I sustain the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as LDS general authorities; however, I reject the premise that they are thereby immune from thoughtful questioning or benevolent criticism. A perfect God does not require blind obedience, nor does He need unthinking loyalty. Freedom of conscience is a divine blessing, and our privilege to express it is a moral imperative. When the church hierarchy speaks on a public issue and requests that members follow, it is difficult indeed if an individual feels the content of their message would make bad law and is unethical as well. I believe opposing gay marriage and seeking a constitutional amendment against it is immoral. Currently the preponderance of scientific research strongly suggests that same-sex attraction is biologically based. Therefore, it is as natural as a heterosexual orientation, even if rare. It seems it might be caused by environmental conditions in the mother's womb, before birth, triggering the DNA to give the fetus a homosexual orientation. Neither the mother nor the child has any choice in the matter; it is a completely natural process. Truly, God would be unjust if He were the creator of a biological process that produced such uncommon, yet perfectly natural results, and then condemned the innocent person to a life of guilt, while denying him or her the ordinary privileges and fulfillment of the deep longing in all of us for family and a committed, loving relationship. Even if the scientific evidence does not yet establish this beyond reasonable doubt, it seems that virtuous moderation and loving kindness require us to exercise caution before making constitutionally binding discrimination against a whole class of people based only on fear and superstition. In fact, when we examine the statements opposing gay marriage, we find few reasonable arguments. It is not enough to claim that we should oppose gay marriage because historically it has never been recognized. This is the fallacy of appealing to tradition, which was also used to fight against civil rights and equal treatment of women. Further, to say that gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage and the family without giving any reasons why is the fallacy of appealing to fear. Indeed, once you get past the emotion, it is quite an unfounded claim. How could the union of two committed and loving people negatively affect my marriage? I believe that quite the contrary is true; namely, legalizing gay marriage reinforces the importance of committed relationships and would strengthen the institution of marriage. Ultimately, any appeal to religious authority to create law is misplaced. Our Founding Fathers were inspired by their study of history to separate constitutional authority from religious belief, recognizing as they did the potential for tyranny in unchecked religious influence. In our pluralistic democracy, attempting to restrict an individual's rights and privileges based upon a religious claim is a dangerous rejection of our Founding Fathers' wise insight, and it should be unacceptable to all Americans. As for the statement by church leaders that God has ordained marriage to be a union between a man and a woman, I find it quite troubling. It sidesteps the role of polygamy in past and future church teachings. It seems to me that if church leaders at one point in time, not very long ago, told members that the union of one man with several women was important for eternal salvation, but now leads them to believe that God only recognizes the union of one man to one woman, then some explanation is required. (I am not endorsing polygamy.) God is not the author of incoherence or injustice, but we humans often are. We in the LDS Church must be more honest about our history, including the past and future practice of polygamy in our official doctrine. This will be difficult, for it will reveal that we have been less than truthful in our public relations, and it will show our inconsistency with current statements opposing gay marriage. We can no longer afford to teach only what is useful and hope people won't discover what is true. In this day of easy Internet access, a person can find more real history of the LDS Church in 30 minutes online than the same person would in a lifetime studying approved church materials. This is not right. Too many individuals have suffered a loss of faith when they were forced to choose between the truth or their family after innocently discovering the discrepancy between genuine history and the official story of the church. We need to trust the membership of the church and treat them as adults, as equals. We are a church of brothers and sisters, not one of the few privileged leaders and the many subordinate followers. There might be a diversity of roles and responsibilities from prophet to Sunday School teacher, but we are all peers with one another and equally irreplaceable in God's thoughts and affections.

In today's paper, there's more...
Nielsen has more questions

Opposition to same-sex marriage isn't the only LDS Church stand Jeffrey Nielsen questions. The part-time Brigham Young University instructor, who will not be rehired for contradicting church statements, said he wants to address other moral and social issues. He urges church leaders to:
* Commission BYU scientists to investigate the nature of the current scientific understanding of same-sex attraction.
* State clearly the the church's position on the past denial of priesthood to blacks.
* Clarify the nature of polygamous teachings in the church, both past and future.
* Reveal "real membership numbers" and churchwide activity rates.
* Allow worthiness interviews between church leaders and teenage members to occur only in the presence of a parent or guardian.
* Permit nonmember or non-tithe-paying parents to attend their children's LDS temple weddings.

I believe in everyone's right to make their own decisions and choices, and that no one is to be the judge of anyone but God. I personally believe we have a living Prophet for a reason (MANY reasons...), and while I believe everyone has their "free-agency," I wish those that call themselves "members" would try to live what they claim to believe, by having faith in our leaders (Prophet) who is on the "watch tower" guiding our lives, and stop worrying about what the world promotes as ideal.

Again...do you live your life by the Gospel, or do you tailor the Gospel to fit your life?

(Since I refuse to only have material listed "one-sidedly," please read S'mee's comments on her blog, knotinthestring.blogspot.com , "Did You Write?", posted on June 5th 2006...REALLY good stuff!!)

Lisa's Letter "S"

Some of my favorite "S" words
(my deliquent post to Lisa :) )

1) SHOES (duh!) Stilletos, slip-ons, sling-backs,sneakers, sandals,strappies,stacked-heel,slippers (smile)
2) Strength: This is not necessarily physcical strength, but moral, emotional, or integral. Who is truly stronger--A finely tuned athelete/weight-lifter, or a Halocaust/Rwanda survivor? Those who bike in marathons, or the Pioneers who trecked across the country? The person who gives the "acceptable" answer, or the one who gives the "morally" right one?
3) Stewardship: I love the many facets of this word. Some things in life we are given automatic and unquestioning stewardship of (children, family, callings, humanity, etc). Other things we choose to have stewardship of (actions, choices, testimony, humanity).
4) Siblings: I am oldest of three girls and one boy...and I am fiercely loyal and protective of them! If someone attacks/hurts/deceives/loses a kidney,...BEWARE!
5) Sleeping! This is self-explainatory if you are a mom, have night-time anxiety, or have a nice pillow-top mattress! (All of the above apply to me!)
6) Sarah Jessica Parker Perfume: I don't know about her SITC show, but her perfume is delicate, simple, and sublime. It's my new "signature scent."
7) Sphinx: One of my FAVORITE topics/art/study is that of Egyptian and Mesopotamian art. The culture, history, myth, art, and archeological manifestations are fascinating to me! I always tell people my idea of a dream vacation would be to go on an archeological dig in Egypt!
8) Sarcasm: I have learned to deal with certain aspects of life in a non-confrontational way (SO against my natural "brutally honest" approach)...This is the closest thing I have found to somewhat accomplish that. I love sarcastic humor, as well.
9) Silence: Sometimes, the silence can give you calm, answers, rejuvenation, strength, love, appreciation, reflection...Have you ever notice that those you can share silence with, are those you feel most comfortable/safe with?
10) Smiles: What a subtle, small gesture that can evoke so many emotions and meanings: joy, understanding, condolences, betrayal, happiness, secrets, pride, gratitude, sincerety (or lack of)...What one gesture can lift you from despair? I love the power of smiles between strangers... when that is all you know of someone.
Bonus) The "sun" shinning on my shoulder!

Sunday Spirit

Today was my Sunday to teach in Gospel Doctrine. The discussion was on Ruth and Hannah in the Old Testament. I had worried that my lesson may fall a little short of the time allotted, so I asked a few people to share with the class a personal experience that could be liken to that of Ruth or Hannah...Little did I know how the spirit would unconsciously guide me in choosing these people...

One brother shared how his mother cared for her alcoholic mother...Another of how his father-in-law had been stricken with cancer, but continued to have more concern with those around him, than in his worsening condition.

The two people I asked to speak about Hannah really bore testimony of how the spirit can guide you, even when you are unaware of its doing so. I had these two names come to mind, and now I know why they did...

The brother shared how his "dear, sweet, wife" had been told early in their marriage that she would not be able to have children...He smiled...Then said that through priesthood blessings, they were able to have five children, and now have five grand-children...I stood trying to stay composed (I'm a crier)...I had no idea of this background as I had extended the brother his assignment to speak of Hannah. I now know why he had said, "What a beautiful story," after I had asked him.

The sister I had share her thoughts about Hannah, I had forgotten had lost a son at the young age of 14, to a brain tumor. She told how her own mother had always taught her that "children are not 'their parents' or 'their own'," in that we simply have stewardship over them, to raise and guide them back to our Heavenly Father (just as Hannah gave her son to God...) This sister shared how when her son was born, that in a priesthood blessing, he was described as a "child of promise." She spoke of not knowing what "promise" he had kept, but in knowing that he was perhaps doing it for her? his siblings? their family? I again was desparetely trying to keep my composure, as I listened to her sweet testimony of giving ALL to our Heavenly Father, for righteousness' sake.

I marvel how the spirit guided me to these individuals, and allowed the spirit to burn within the hearts of those in the classroom. I am so grateful for the lessons we learn in the bible, as well as the testimonies of others that bear witness of their truths.

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come here-after, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation." (D&C 58:3)

Since I'm going to be listing some favorite "S" words for Lisa, I thought I would preclude a special one...That being the word "spirit," for that is truly what I felt today.

Tag #1...Weird things for Lammy Ann

Sorry it has taken me SO LONG to get back to my initial tagging! Here are six weird things about me:

1) I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue...Go ahead...try it!! ( I know you are!!)

2) I refuse to fly on Delta airlines because they "lost" a kidney intended for my brother (long story). When we went to Disneyland last year with my husband's company, they had initially gotten tickets on Delta...I refused to go...No...REALLY...I was not planning on going...Luckily, in the end, they ended up changing airlines for other reasons. (Does this mean I hold grudges? Or am I just extremely loyal?)

3) I cannot eat raw meat...it must be cooked all the way through...BUT (how ironic) I LOVE sushi!!

4) Except for when I'm sleeping, I MUST have a pair of earrings in...This is even when running, swimming, at the gym, doing housework, etc. I just don't like how the holes on my ears look "sans" earrings...

5) To this day, I cannot smell the Victoria Secret's "Cucumber Melon" lotion without getting nauseated...When it first came out (circa 1995), I LOVED it...then I got pregnant...GAVE AWAY all my lotion, and couldn't stand by or be in the same room with anyone wearing it (which made staff meetings VERY excrutiating...). This just adds to my list of why I don't go into that particular store...

6) I love the following shows..."Miami Ink," "Hart and Huntington," and "Dog the Bounty Hunter." I can only figure this is because in another life, I was/would be a hard-core rock star, who could kick some "booty..." (I'll let you guess if I have a tattoo...) When my sister and her husband went to Hawaii, I made her promise me to go to "Da Kine Bonds" and stalk Dog & Company....She didn't get a chance to see them, but did take a picture of the outside of their office!

LOL...If the "weirdness" only ended here!!

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You...

Tag #1 "Six Weird Things for Lammy Ann"
Tag #2 "The Letter S is for Lisa"

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You...MINE!

"Da Truth"

Okay..I've seen the movie...Here are my thoughts...

1) Overall grade: B-/C+
I'm really picky about movies, and although it was a good movie, pretty much followed the book, and had good character assignment, I felt that the book just didn't translate into a very good film. My husband who did not read the book, gave it a B+.

2) I really don't see what all the fuming is about. This is a fictional story, which made a great book, and caused many to think about the possibilities and "what if's" about Jesus. I have many friends who are upset that Christ is portrayed as being married, and having kids. This is interesting to me, because wasn't Jesus suppose to come and "show us by example" on how we should mirror our own lives? So to me, the part of Jesus being married and having children is not so controversial. I believe that he was married (probably to Mary M.), and did have children. Why would'nt he?

3) The interesting debate for me is how the movie raises the question of, "Was Jesus truly a divine being, or just a mortal man who did wonderful things, who developed a following, which evolved into Christianity?" Because of my own beliefs, I know that Jesus was the very/literal son of our Heavenly Father, and that during the time He was mortal, He did do many miraculous things (many of which cannot be explained logically). But the most evident and effectual thing He did was divine in nature, though He endured it while in the flesh...the Atonement.

I have a degree in Art History, as well as a testimony of the Gospel, and I have found it interesting on how the two can illuminate each other, or be found at polar opposites to each other. I believe that truth can be found in many ways, things, experiences, and philosophies. But sometimes, even many times, we need to rely on the faith of our own divinity within, which sometimes cannot be proved or refuted.

Tickets to a good "Da-bate"

I just bought my tickets to see the "Davinci Code" for Friday afternoon. This is a great topic for me in many ways. #1 The obvious...the topic of Jesus #2 I have a BA in Humanities and Art History, and love the discussion of all the artwork, architecture, history, and philosophy in the book #3 ANYTHING controversial is what I like to discuss!

We are in the process of turning my dear husband's office into a room for our oldest son, for his birthday. (He has been sharing a room with his 3 year old brother, and the seven year difference is just too much to ask of him!!) So, we got my husband this really cool, new, Mac computer with a flat-screen (he's a graphic designer/marketing VP/advertising GENIUS!) that we will put in the family room, and then "transform" his office into a small nook for our son. My husband made us a really cool, rustic desk out of some old fence slats we had stored in our shed. It turned out amazing! Our son knows nothing of the "plans," so it should be a really fun surprise! ANYWAYS...the computer may be interrupted the next few days, so I just wanted to get my "digs" into my next topic, so everyone can be ready (yeah--all five of you who read my blog,,,LOL) for some fun discussion!

Excuses, Excuses...I Need a Tissue

Last night my three-year-old came into my room (for about the 5th time...) and told me he couldn't go to bed...The reason? "Mom...there are boogers in my nose..."

I've heard of a glass of water, monsters, too hot, "someone" is bugging me, too light, too dark, my night-light is burnt out, my music is not playing, I heard you and dad talking,..etc, etc. but I have NEVER heard of the "boogers in the nose." What is the best excuse you've heard for not going to sleep?

Disney Sluts

Well...I am back from our trip! It was so much fun, and it was wonderful that I got to spend some one-on-one time with my two oldest kids (A shout-out of "thanks" to my in-laws, who stayed with our youngest...although I KNOW it added an additional 20 years to their age!! My mother-in-law's constant comment was, "He's just so...ACTIVE...He's just so VERY active!")

Disneyland is indeed a mystical and fantastic experience. I had not EVER been until last year (yup--a true Disney "virgin!" Suzie--if you have not yet been, I want you to cross your finish line at your marathon and yell "I'm going to Disneyland!!" Maybe we can all take up a collection...) Well, there are many unique traits and characteristics that make up this magical theme park, but there is one that stands out in particular...EVERYONE at Disneyland are SLUTS.

What?! Who?! Blasphemy!? No...I say this with all the love, respect, and awe I have in my heart...For you see, all the employees of Disneyland NEVER say "NO." I found this out in many ways. When my daugher was stalking Goofy for his autograph, instead of telling her "NO, you cannot have Goofy's autograph right now," the employee who was escorting Goofy simply said, "Goofy will be taking a short break, and will be returning in 10 minutes..." When my son wanted to ride in the front of the Indiana Jones ride, it was, "Please go to line number 1..," no questions asked. When Space Mountain was closed, it was never "NO, you cannot ride right now..." it was "We should be up and running as soon as possible!" I was beginning to think I could take advantage of their goodness...maybe get a foot massage for all the walking, or a back-rub while I waited in line?

Well, Disneyland certainly has a knack for keeping the magic alive...and when I say they are "sluts," it's in a good way!

Last year we left a "soiled" umbrella stroller in the parking lot of Disneyland...Let's just say my youngest son definitely left his "mark" last year...This year's winnng story is entitled:

"Our New Daddy"

It was lunch time and the kids and I were looking for a place to eat. We came upon a delightful french-like bakery/restuarant, where we (meaning "I"--I couldn't eat another hotdog/Mickey Mouse pretzel/french fries, etc...) decided to sit down and order. Now, for those of you who watch "Grey's Anatomy," our waiter looked just like the guy on the show who plays Alex Karev. Well, with his slight italian accent, he starts talking to me about how we are enjoying our stay and what we have been doing, etc. We order our meals, and then he basically sits down and talks to me like we have been friends for ages...Everything from taping "Prison Break, " to old-style cartoons (He-Man), to sights I should go see later (remind you, I'm sitting at this table with my two children...) Now here is the "clincher..."He tells me how kids are so lucky to live during this time with all the fun new games and gadgets around, with the exception of the old cartoons we used to watch (hence, He-Man and other favorites...) and says that in his twenty-some-odd years, that the best cartoons were done while we were in elementary school in the 80's? Now...I lived the 80's, but I was in Jr. High and High School!! Either I looked REALLY good in my green and black camo-gauchos, or he was just another "Disney Slut!" (I am choosing to believe that I was looking stunning that day...)

Well...I left flattered, and he left with a nice big tip! We met up with my husband for dinner that night, and I related to him what had happened, and how he was "so lucky" to be married to a woman "considerably" younger than himself! He then turned to the kids and said, "Did Mommy find you a new Daddy?!" to which my younger, naive, and totally unassuming son said, "Well...there was this waiter who talked with her for a long, long time..."

So here's to Disneyland! It's the magical kingdom where sluts make you feel young again!!


Shoes of the vacation...Black Reebok flip-flops to display my cute and newly painted bright coral toes!

Dad's Business Trip

M-I-C...
K-E-Y...
M-O-U-S-E..!

Unexpected trip...Unexpected chaos...Unexpected fun! See you when we get back!

What's Lost is Found

My FAVORITE scripture to read this time each year is found in
John 20:11-16...

"But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping;
and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into
the sepulchre,
And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one
at the head, and the other at the feet, where the
body of Jesus had lain.
And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou?
She saith unto them, Because they have taken away
my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself
back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it
was Jesus.
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou?
whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the
gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne
him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and
I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself,
and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master."

Easter is the story of rebirth...of finding again that which is lost...of knowing that the Lord knows us each by name, and that we can always find Him close, in our midst, even when it appears that we have lost Him.

I am grateful for my Savior, and the many times He has found me...

Impressions in White

My daughter turned eight today, and had the opportunity to be baptized on her birthday! What a beautiful moment that will be etched into her memory, and mine. I gave birth to her at 10:22 am, and she just so happened to have her baptism scheduled for 10 am. Eight years ago I was giving her a physical birth, and today she was partaking of her spiritual birth.

She wore the same white, polyester dress that I wore to be baptized in...My mom had kept it all these years. I had flashbacks of when I was baptized. We were both the first baptisms of the day. But...her font was filled on time, and mine was not...hence the perpetual joke of "Laura's "concussion" by water." (My dad had so little to work with, that he was worried I wouldn't be completely immersed, so he made sure to really "push" me all the way down...giving my head a good little "knock" on the bottom of the font!)

My daughter asked that both her grandmothers speak. What beautiful words they offered. Grandma B. gave her a special bookmark for her scriptures, with all the things you promise when you are baptized. Grandma P. gave her a quilt that will wrap her in "comfort" whenever she needs it, as well as serving as a reminder that her grandma loves her, and the Holy Ghost is now her forever "comforter," available whenever she needs comfort, protection, or solace.

I was doing okay up to this point. Then came the confirmation...My daughter had asked every male relative, church leader, primary teacher, and friend she knew to be involved in this special ordinance. As this huge group of adoring men engulfed her, I was not able to see her face...but I saw it after...

She had tears streaming down her lightly freckled cheeks, and the red "blotches" that accompany you when you have sobbed. She knew without hesitation the step she had just taken...She knew her Father in heaven loved her...She knew that the gospel was true...She knew that what she was feeling was the Holy Ghost bearing witness to her...She KNEW she was a daughter of God. All this, without having to say one word.

I am so grateful for the blessing it is to raise children, and to watch them when they realize who they truly are...and all the miracles that lay before them.


My daughter wore white patent-leather flats, with a jeweled heart suspended over the strap...She is so beautiful!!