We have a tradition in our family. My husband and I decided that when our kids turn eight, that since it is the "age of accountablility," and that there is so much influence going on in the lives of our children, that we would have "THE TALK" sometime during the 8-9 year mark (depending on the nature and maturity of the child!), with the hope that we would be able to introduce them, in OUR way, to the topic.
I LOVE this talk, and look forward to it!! I don't know why people get all flustered when they gear up to talk to their children about good ol' procreation?! These are the reasons why I love it:
1) WE get to do the introduction, direction, and teaching of our children, so hopefully their first interaction with the subject is from US...so far, this has been the case!
2) We get to "build up" the excitement of the experience of their "special date." We tell them before-hand that they are going to get to go on a special date with mom and dad, ALONE, and get to hear about something AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, and SPECIAL! This gets them really excited, and more importantly, it creates a POSITIVE environment from the get-go. I think so many kids get into trouble because their parents either a) don't do anything or b) present sex and something that is "bad" or something that is "hush-hush." I WANT my kids to be able to talk to me about anything...even sex! I want them to know that when respected, sex is the most beautiful gift that our father in heaven has given us...the ability to create a life!
3) We get to teach them the concept of "love." They may "love" many people in their lives, but the type of love you must have to express it through sex is this: When that special someone says, "I love you so much that I want to take you to the temple, and be sealed to you forever and all eternity..." or (boys) "I love you so much that I want to take you to the temple, and be sealed to you forever and all eternity..." THIS is the type of loving gesture that comes after you have committed to one another in the holy temple.
4) The book we use, "Where Did I Come From," by Peter Mayle, is the BEST!! It uses the greatest illustrations (simple for kids...comical for adults...but realistic), correct definitions, and basically takes you from head to toe, from what happens in sex to having babies, in a way that children can understand, and not feel overwhelmed by. We start by asking our kids what is the greatest thing on earth? (people) Wouldn't it then be amazing to learn how a person is created? What do you remember about the birth of (younger sibling, friend, cousin, etc.)? How do YOU think babies get into the mommy's tummy? Is it important that a mommy and a daddy love each other? How do you show someone you love them? (hugs, kisses,) How does mommy and daddy show each other? (hugs, kisses, more kisses!) Did you know that there is a an even bigger, better kind of action that a husband and wife can do? It makes them feel really good and loved AND--and this is the most exciting part--this special kind of action is what can get a baby started growing, inside of a mom!
5) The expression on my kids face when they hear what happens during sex...PRICELESS!
6) We get to express to them the joy they have brought to our lives--the joy that hopefully they will be able to experience with that special person, as they create their own "forever family."
What is there to be embarrassed about?
(Two down...one to go!!)
3 comments:
haha I wish you were *my* mom! Man was I in the dark. That aside, when the offspring came of age it fell to me to explain everything. Thor was out of town. 8-l
For me, there wasn't a cool book yet (dang), and so, being a visual person I brought out the ol' white board.(state of the art technology) I brought out the white board on many occasions when my words were not enough. Mom's illustrations coupled with her delightful sense of humour. There's a talk everyone wants. 8-0
I have a s-i-l who thought I over explained everything from why we don't go in the street to well, sex and other stuff.
To this day my children have an un-natural fear of white boards...lol
You sound like me! We are very open at our house about things. My 10 yr old is the only one we have talked to about it.
It is a pretty illustration when you live on a farm! When the pets go at it all you have to say is that they are making babies! It's pretty self explanitory!
We don sit down though and talk about "real love" and the beauty of it. The importance of only doing this when you are married.
The married thing is really easy to explain. All we have to do is point out our baby we adopted. He came from a mom who was not married and did drugs and now she can't have him anymore. It's sad but a good object lesson.
Thank you oh wise sage. The "talk" TERRIFIES me and now you have just simplified it into this wonderful, meaningful night out with my child. You've given me step-by-step directions, a book to refer to, encouragement...wow. Will you be my friend forever? Truly, this was a beautiful blog! Your kids are soooo lucky to have you for a mom!
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