Oh boy...This post is big for me...I want to do it justice...I want to try and convey my thoughts in a way that will express what I felt...
At Youth Conference this year, it was amazing how many kids who shared their testimony at its conclusion, started with the phrase..."I didn't want to go..." and then shared how the experience changed their lives...
That was me in regards to this trip.
It was the last week before school was to start. My eldest son needed to register for his classes for his first year of Junior High, and my other children all needed to meet their teachers, etc. at Back to School night...All of which are expertise areas of "Mom." The adversary was indeed working very hard on me...Giving me HUGE amounts of guilt ("You are a bad Mom--putting your calling ahead of your kids--"). It was awful. But thanks to my wonderful husband, who promised me that he would take care of "everything," I packed my bags, and got up at 5am the next morning...
(By the way--there is nothing funnier than 9 adults in a HUGE 10 passenger van...You learn A LOT about everyone!!)
We arrived at Martin's Cove that afternoon...
It was vivid, yet quiet and peaceful. It was overcast, with clouds threatening to dump their contents out upon us...but they never did, which made the paths gentle, and cool. As I began to walk along the 5 mile loop of the cove, I was nervous and anxious as I waited for some type of emotion to overtake me.
And I kept waiting...
And waiting...
As I wound around the last bend before the actual cove, I heard whispers from behind me. I looked back to see what the Stake President was saying...only to find that I was all alone...
I wept.
Ugly, shuddering, messy sobs that came from the deepest niches of my soul.As we came to the top of the cove, there was an area to sit and overlook the site. I had to sit a few rows back from my group, until I felt I could compose myself...I then took my place by my fellow YW presidency, and began to listen to the cute missionary couple.
"A young couple fell in love on their journey to Salt Lake. So in love were they, that instead of getting married along the trail, which many did, they were vigilant in their desire to only be married under the sealing ordinances of God, through the prophet...So they had decided to postpone their marriage until reaching Salt Lake..."
"The young man was a help to many...always called upon to help those who had lost loved ones, stoke the lingering fires, bury those who had died, and provide whatever he was called upon to do..."
"When the group reached the cove to find shelter from the icy snow and frigid winds, the young man died from exposure...leaving behind the love of his life and their dream of eternal covenants..."
"It was widely known that the ground would be too frozen to allow for a proper burial, and thus the bodies were generally left to the elements...around the next bend in the cove...and in the pitch of the night, one could hear the howling and fighting of the wolves as they came upon the freshly laid bodies of those dear loved ones..."
"As the men came to take the young man to his final resting place, his dear love, removing the bright red shawl she had worn throughout her journey, wrapped him inside it's warmth, and told the men to please hang his body wrapped in this cover, from the tops of the trees, as to avoid the certain predators of the night..." "As she left the cove, she looked back upon the bright red shawl, hanging in the trees..."
"Several months after arriving in Salt Lake, she inquired about her dearly departed, and if recent travelers had seen him amongst the trees...Quietly they told her that they only saw the red shawl, as it blew in the breeze..."
Sobbing...uncontrollably...with the ugly sounds that accompany it...
As we walked back with our cart, I was able to recover a bit, through casual conversation and taking in the imagery of my surroundings. Even the animals (and we saw and came close to so many deer, birds, rabbits, (snakes!) all seemed to know the reverent and sacred nature of their habitat, for it was silent, and sweet...
The next day we went to Sixth Crossing, which is one of the nine crossings made over the river in this area...We sat for two hours in the van to get to this next point...The pioneers walked...
We arrived and walked along the river paths...I took home rocks and pebbles from the paths for my children...Then the rain came and cut our visit short...
After the rain seemed to clear, we headed for Rock Creek Hollow, where the second rescue happened...where thirteen died the night they arrived, with two more deaths by morning...Ages from small little children, to those my age and a little older...In a fenced area, there is a monument laid over the circle grave where these individuals were buried...When President Hinckley instructed the position of this monument, they found in that place a child's bonnet, and an adult boot...
The names of those who died are engraved on this monument, as well as a small grave beside it...Each person has a story...One child had a younger brother who had just walked up the hill known as Rocky Ridge, and told his older brother he could go no further...The older brother took his young sibling upon his back, and walked and tredged in the elements to Rock Creek Hollow, where he sat his brother down, and then laid down, and passed on...Another story of a girl who was 9 named Bodil Mortensen, who was sent to go get sagebrush to keep her family's fire going...She was found the next morning leaning against the wheel of their cart, with the sagebrush still clasped in her hands...
We then went by the huge amphitheater where devotionals can be held, where there are two more fenced areas of unknown graves along the hill...There is a fence just beyond this area, which leads to a beautiful glen, along the river...As we entered this area, the Missionary couple told us the following story:"A few weeks ago, a youth group came here for their Trek...Among them was a leader who had recently lost a young son. He and his son had been horse-back riding, and during that time, the father had asked his son to hold onto the reins of the horse while he attended to something...The young boy wrapped his hand in the leather strap as he waited...Something then spooked the horse, and all this father could do was watch as his son was dragged to his death..."
"This leader was among the group at the amphitheater, during a devotional happening at the time. As he looked over to the gate beyond this area, he saw a young girl...even making eye contact with her...When he later looked for her, she was gone..."
"He awoke the next morning, still wondering why he had seen this girl, and for what purpose. He went to the gated area, and knelt in prayer...She came to him as she had before...She said that she had been the same age as his son when she had died...She said that they were friends, and that he wanted his father to know that it was not his fault, that he was fine, and that he loved him...and then she was gone..."My tissues were globs of mucus...my sobs were unrelenting...my heart was pounding...It was another testament of how thin and transparent the veil had been during this trip...
We hear all of the time "Why did they have to go through this?" or "Why did God not bend the winds and storms?" and I feel I have an answer...This was a lesson not for ANY of them...for their testimonies were sure and solid before these trials, in that they all went where the Lord told them to go, despite grave and harrowing circumstances...This lesson was for US...
Sister Elaine S. Dalton:
"A little over a year ago, my husband and I visited Nauvoo. As we walked through the Old Pioneer Cemetery searching for the grave of an ancestor, Zina Baker Huntington, I was touched by the peaceful solitude and spirit I felt. I walked through the trees and read the names on the gravestones, many of them children and families. I wept as my heart was turned to our forefathers, many of whom had joined the Church and come to Nauvoo. In my mind I asked many questions: Why did they leave their comfortable homes and families? Why did they suffer persecution, sickness, even death? Why did they sacrifice all that they had to come to this place and build a temple? They hardly had shelter, and yet they were building a temple! Why did they do it? And when the temple was nearly completed, how could they leave it behind? As I sat silently contemplating this scene, the answer came forcefully yet softly to my mind and heart: “We did this for you.”
Those words, “We did this for you,” reminded me that our ancestors, along with many other faithful Saints, sacrificed everything because of their testimonies and faith in Jesus Christ. They knew that the gospel had been restored to the earth once more and that they were led by a prophet of God. They knew that the Book of Mormon was true and understood its message and witness. They knew that through the restoration of priesthood keys, families could be sealed together for eternity through holy priesthood ordinances available only in a temple. They knew that temple work was the key to the salvation and exaltation of the human family. They knew the importance of this work, and they were willing to give all that they had in order to provide a house acceptable to the Lord wherein this holy work could be performed. They sacrificed everything so that past and future generations would have access to the eternal blessings of the temple."
They did this for our generation...They did this for all the young men who aren't sure about going on missions...They did this for people who question if it is worth waiting for a temple marriage...They did this as an example of the faith necessary to return to our Father in Heaven...
They did this, for ME...
