Out of my league...

A fish on dry land...The black sheep...I feel so under-qualified and miscast that it is giving me huge anxiety! I feel so overwhelmed with my new calling, and wonder how I ever got cast into this arena. Why did the Lord chose me? How am I to be an example to those I've been called to serve? As I was sitting at a meeting tonight, I was suddenly struck with how obvious it was that I am a different kind of folk. While others speak of making Stake dances more "spiritual" in nature, I sit and think how much fun it would be to get out and dance with them! I got chastised for bringing my caffeinated beverage to a church activity! I am never dressed appropriately...meaning...I always get my meetings confused, and end up showing up in jeans and a top, when I should be in a dress, and vice versa! I am more comfortable with the young women, then the leaders I work with! WHAT have I gotten myself into?! I feel like someone is pointing a finger at me, and I am sitting here, looking behind me to see who they are pointing to!
I am beyond wanting to hear about being in the right place, when at the moment, I'm trying to think of how I can suddenly be pregnant or comatose for the next three years!! Right now, I feel like I am the poster child for weaknesses, without the attached "becoming strengths..."
I do have a testimony. I love the gospel. I know how blessed I am....Perhaps that is why I feel so out of my league...Because I know what is expected, and I just don't know if I can deliver it.

Fang, a Trip to Timp, and Pennywise

I don't know why...but yesterday morning I checked the KSL.com classifides...After over a year of trying to get one, I am proud to say, we are the owner of a new Wii system...

We needed to meet our "dealer" to make the exchange. You know the commercials, where the two immaculately groomed Asian guys appear on your doorstep, handing you the controls? Well, picture their long, lost brother...Shifty, anxious, nervous, agitated, no bowing, no eye contact and my husband, totally spiffed up (we were on our way to the temple!) with a wad of cash...Any law enforcement would have to assume that something was "going down."

After we got our prize from Fang (yes...his real name), we headed up to do our session at the temple. We were discussing the logic of "because we were going to the temple, we were being blessed...la la la" We decided that we wanted to use the Wii as a tool for spiritual growth... well...let's be honest...and our personal amusement!

We decided that we would do the classic "door-bell ditch." We were coming up with what we could write on the note. Here were the top contenders:

The Good:
"Blessings come from going to the temple...Keep up the good work! From-the Three Nephites"

The Better:
"Thanks for letting your parents attend the temple...From-Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego"
(characters from one of our kids favorite Veggie Tales)

The Best:
"I've been watching the good things you do...Thanks for letting your parents go to the temple...Remember...I'll be watching! From-Pennywise (From the tv movie "It," and the reason why my kids fear clowns...especially those that hide in caves with spiders)

Since we didn't want them bearing their testimonies in church about how the "three Nephites brought them a Wii since their parents went to the temple...," the Shad, Mesh and Abe story just wasn't satisfying enough,...and although it would of been hilarious to watch their reactions, the Pennywise angle would of not been funny at all when all three kids are sleeping in your bed for the next week!

So...we went with the plan, and the safe..."Blessings come when you go to the temple"

We rang the doorbell...
Hid on the side of the house...
Heard the "OH MY GOSH!!!!!" "AAAAHHHHH!!!" "A Wii!!!" and my favorite, "This has Mom written all over it!"

A very satisfying evening for all.

The "other" white meat, offers no salvation

My husband and son went to the Priesthood session of General Conference tonight. I took the other kids to Rumbi grill, with a promise that we would end the evening with an ice-cream cone from McDonalds, or, as called in our home, "Old-Mac-Donalds..."

We arrived home with full tummies, smiles, and only two impulse purchases from Walmart in tow...A delightful evening.

Later, I asked the boys how the session went...Who was there...Who spoke...It was when I asked what subjects they tackled that my son immediately said, "We are suppose to avoid violence, swearing, and PORKANOGRAPHY..."

Damn that white meat!!

They make it look so good...and when you add the applesauce?!

After a good laugh, I said, "Well...if you ever mess with pornography, you'll end up in something even worse...a**kickingography!"

Then my dear son tried to make me feel better by saying that it is okay for me to say a**, because it "just is another name for a donkey..."

Donkeys, pigs...nothing is safe!!

Mormon Etiquette

I saw this after watching "Footloose..."