Do you remember the commercials about Dixie plates? How they are strong enough to hold ANY amount of food stacked or piled on them? Well, my friends, I have found that I am no longer a Dixie plate...
I am always the one who people turn to for help, advice, safety, confidence, confession, and digging people out of the ditches they find themselves in. I am the child who is never doted upon, because my parents know that I can take care of myself. I am the employee who gets all the crap departments, because my boss knows that I will fix them. I am the daughter who is called to "fix" her sibling, who has fallen away. I am the typcial mother, who is never suppose to get sick, show weakness, fatigue, or lose their temper, all amid never faltering at having a smile upon her face, while keeping home and hearth functioning.
Lately I feel like I am not the Dixie plate I use to be...but merely the generic, white, paper plate, where no matter how many you layer together, you will still manage to lose half your food, and have things seep into the layers of paper, leaving BBQ sause stains on your clean white t-shirt. I use to LOVE being "the one who could fix it,"and gladly took on helping after helping of issues. But, it seems as if I might need to be humbled into realizing that in reality, NO ONE is a Dixie plate, and that it is truly this juggling act that helps us to realize what we are amazingly capable of.
So here I am...With my soaked layers of paper plate, trying to hold together family, husband, children, friends, callings, a body that once was so fit and healthy that is slowly leading me down paths I never thought I would have to entertain at 36 (happy birthday to me! december 31st) hysterectomy? kidney and thryroid function? yucky meds? FATIGUE that keeps me literally thinking of bed ALL DAY?!
But at the same time that I write this, I am wonderfully aware of all my blessings...My cute kids who amaze me each day with their spirits and light that fills me up...My husband who lets me sleep in when the meds and stress kick in, and I am absolutely no good, and he knows it!...My best friend, who I can tell anything to, and who is so much a balancing "ying" to my "yang" that we are perfectly matched (and she STILL loves me after all is said, and done)...but most of all, to my Father in Heaven, who listens to me yell, scream, grieve, struggle, cry, complain, and wonder, and still gave me His Son, who has gone through ALL things for ME.
I LOVED Melissa's resolution to just take things one day at a time...Because when your plate is not a Dixie, life can get a little overwhelming!
2 comments:
Oh girl, tell us about it. Get it off your chest. It seems you keep pretty private and don't want to complain but we here in cyberspace LOVE you. Let us be your sounding box. Pour your heart out. Don't hide away and feel awful alone.
I think about you every day. I am so sorry life sucks right now. I wish I could be there to come clean your house for you and make you lunch and all that good stuff.
Happy birthday!!! Yea!!! Now we're the same age! Twinners!
I never was a dixie plate. I have two sisters that had that calling. T was our mother when our own died. She finally tired of it. It was very draining to take care of everyone else. She retired. It was hard for us and we were all mad for a while. We didn't get it. Then S took over. She took the job because she likes to nurture and does it well. I think she is tiring of it too and we are all falling in to our own more balanced lives.
Your friends and family will adjust if you decide to retire. Learn to love being taken care of and being a basket case once in a while. There are perks!
It will get better. Maybe slowly, but this is only a test. If this were a real emergency, you would be notified.
I love you! Don't stay away so long. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Your cyber sister.
I know the feeling. I just took a few months to drop everything and be sick (not my choice). It's been kind of refreshing, actually (aside from the Not Knowing What's Wrong). Glad I found your blog.
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